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Question:
I
am a married woman and the mother of several children. In the early years of my
marriage, my husband showed me profound love and ensured my comfort and
well-being in every possible way. However, with the passage of time, his
attention towards me has noticeably diminished. It feels as though he no longer
finds it tolerable even to look at me. Staying out late at night has become his
routine. He shows no interest in domestic affairs, nor does he engage with the
care of the sick or the education and upbringing of the children. What could be
the reason behind such behavior?
Answer:
The
tranquility of the household is contingent upon a deep psychological and
emotional consonance between husband and wife. Just as a wife yearns for
affection and attentiveness from her husband, a husband, too, expects his
natural needs to be acknowledged and fulfilled by his spouse. It is an
observable reality that after childbirth, a woman often becomes predominantly
absorbed in the nurturing and care of her children, at times at the expense of
her health and vitality. Consequently, the vigor and enthusiasm her husband
once admired may, to some degree, diminish.
Nevertheless,
a wise and discerning wife maintains a delicate balance between her devotion to
her children and her responsibilities towards her husband. An analysis of your
letter suggests that you have concentrated your entire attention upon the
children, unintentionally sidelining your husband's emotional and psychological
needs. It appears that he finds this shift in your disposition displeasing.
I
would advise you to be mindful of your husband’s rights as well. Constant
arguments, complaints, and repeatedly emphasizing his disinterest in you or the
children are not conducive to healing the situation. Rather, a more fruitful
approach would be to consciously tend to his emotional and physical needs with
sensitivity and affection, nurturing a spirit of mutual consideration and
rekindling the harmony that forms the cornerstone of a peaceful and spiritually
fulfilling marital life.
Khwaja Shamsuddin Azeemi
Nearly three decades ago, the esteemed spiritual scholar and blessed guide, Khwaja Shamsuddin Azeemi (R.A), inaugurated a mission of public service with the objective of liberating humanity from afflictions, psychological distress, and physical ailments. For ten years, he remained in contemplative retreat, silently advancing this sacred commitment to the service of creation (khidmat-e-khalq). As the hearts of the people began turning toward him, he employed the medium of mass communication. In 1969, this initiative was formally introduced to the public through newspapers and spiritual journals. According to conservative estimates, through written correspondence and face-to-face interaction—particularly via national publications and the Roohani Digest—Hazrat Azeemi has extended spiritual guidance and healing to over 1.4 million men and women, addressing intricate personal crises and intractable medical conditions. Today, it is not uncommon that wherever a few individuals gather, and a seemingly insoluble dilemma or incurable illness is mentioned, someone inevitably suggests: “Establish contact with Azeemi Sahib—the matter will be resolved.”
Through the grace of Allah the Almighty, the spiritual affinity with the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and the continued beneficence of the blessed guide, four volumes of Roohani Daak (Spiritual Correspondence) have now been compiled. The first volume is hereby presented to you for contemplation and benefit.