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Question:
My
son, Muhammad Kamran, aged three years, exhibits a marked degree of obstinacy.
Despite our persistent efforts to accommodate his every desire, he continues to
manifest extreme intransigence regarding his demands. Two behavioral patterns
have become particularly pronounced to the point of obsession: first, he
persistently insists on going outdoors. No member of the household is able to
exit the home in his presence without encountering his forceful demand to
accompany them. Even unfamiliar visitors are not exempt from his insistence, as
he adamantly declares, "I will go too." His multitude of toys hold
little to no significance before his overriding compulsion to leave the house. Secondly,
whenever he becomes attracted to any object, he immediately asserts ownership
over it, insisting that "this belongs to me." He shows no regard for
the presence or rights of others in such instances. Each morning, he awakens in
a state of distress, crying and making numerous demands. Upon the fulfillment
of one request, another promptly arises. His persistent obstinacy has
contributed significantly to heightened irritability and, consequentially, has
led to a noticeable physical debilitation.
Our
primary concern extends beyond his defiant behavior to his increasing physical
weakness. It is worth noting that he accepts the administration of medication
without resistance.
Answer:
Your
approach toward your child, rather than fostering friendship, has inadvertently
cultivated an adversarial dynamic. By indiscriminately acceding to his every
wish, you have unintentionally reinforced patterns of obstinacy and emotional
impulsivity. Should this approach remain unaltered, there is a substantial risk
that the child may develop deeper psychological disturbances.
The
education and moral upbringing of children is an obligation entrusted to
parents. Acceding to every capricious demand is neither a parental duty nor a
legitimate expression of care. The child's consciousness is structured through
two primary influences: half of his cognitive and emotional development is
derived directly from the behaviors, actions, and pattern of thought
(tarz-e-fikr) of his parents and immediate social environment; the remaining
half is shaped by the broader external environment.
It
is particularly disconcerting that you express concern over his weakness
without recognizing its intrinsic connection to the patterns of permissiveness
you have enabled. It must be clearly understood that unless you undertake a
critical reformation of your approach, you will bear moral and spiritual
accountability for his maladaptive development. It is incumbent upon you to
gradually and lovingly nurture within him traits of patience, self-regulation,
and emotional resilience. Negligence in this formative period may result in
long-lasting developmental harm. Fortunately, the child's character remains
pliable and amenable to positive change — analogous to green wood that can
still be molded with care. A spiritual intervention is hereby prescribed:
Each night, once the child has entered into deep, unbroken sleep, stand near
him and gently recite the following affirmation for a period of one week: "Kamran,
you are a blessed and obedient child. You do not engage in obstinacy. Your mind
is healthy and sound. You think, play, and act joyfully and wisely, like
intelligent and accomplished children." In the event that the child
awakens during the recitation, patiently wait until he returns to a deep state
of sleep before continuing.
Khwaja Shamsuddin Azeemi
Nearly three decades ago, the esteemed spiritual scholar and blessed guide, Khwaja Shamsuddin Azeemi (R.A), inaugurated a mission of public service with the objective of liberating humanity from afflictions, psychological distress, and physical ailments. For ten years, he remained in contemplative retreat, silently advancing this sacred commitment to the service of creation (khidmat-e-khalq). As the hearts of the people began turning toward him, he employed the medium of mass communication. In 1969, this initiative was formally introduced to the public through newspapers and spiritual journals. According to conservative estimates, through written correspondence and face-to-face interaction—particularly via national publications and the Roohani Digest—Hazrat Azeemi has extended spiritual guidance and healing to over 1.4 million men and women, addressing intricate personal crises and intractable medical conditions. Today, it is not uncommon that wherever a few individuals gather, and a seemingly insoluble dilemma or incurable illness is mentioned, someone inevitably suggests: “Establish contact with Azeemi Sahib—the matter will be resolved.”
Through the grace of Allah the Almighty, the spiritual affinity with the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and the continued beneficence of the blessed guide, four volumes of Roohani Daak (Spiritual Correspondence) have now been compiled. The first volume is hereby presented to you for contemplation and benefit.
