Spiritual Healing
Question:
Ever since gaining consciousness, domestic discord is
all I have witnessed. The relationship between my parents has remained
perpetually bitter. My mother endured my father’s conduct as an exemplary,
long-suffering Eastern woman solely for the sake of her children. My father is
an exceptionally ill-tempered, harsh, and callous man. It pains me to speak
thus of my own progenitor, yet I never imagined my heart could harbor such
intense hatred for anyone as I feel toward him, for the cruelties he has inflicted
upon my noble mother defy description.
Throughout his life, he behaved with reckless
irresponsibility: he never secured a promotion during his government service,
refused to seek employment after leaving his post, and contributed nothing
toward his wife. He squandered all our capital sitting idle at home; all our
ancestral lands were liquidated, and our private residence is mortgaged beneath
debts that appear insurmountable. We have no source of income. In our society,
women are forced to endure untold humiliation merely to secure food and clothing.
Lately, his treatment of my mother has grown so savage
that he appears completely deranged. He vents all his failures, negligence, and
impotence upon her: if finances dry up, she is held at fault; if debts mount,
she is blamed; if my marriage remains unarranged, the responsibility is cast
upon her. It feels as though he deliberately seeks to turn our lives into a
living hell. If mutual love and cooperation exist, one can weather immense
adversity; but in these circumstances, I contemplate fleeing far away, restrained
solely by love for my mother, who would be buried alive by my departure.
Answer:
It takes two hands to produce applause. While your
father bears heavy culpability, your mother has also played a substantial role
in sustaining this domestic deterioration; had unyielding obstinacy not taken
root within her, matters would not have escalated to this severity.
Every night before retiring to sleep, recite the
Quranic verse:
Hunna libāsun lakum wa-antum libāsun lahunna (Surah Al-Baqarah,
2:187)
هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ
وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ
(They are garments for you and you are garments for
them)
100 times over a vessel of water, blow upon it, and
administer it to both your father and your mother to drink. Domestic peace will
be restored by the Grace of Allah.
Question:
From his youth into advancing age, my father has
observed the five daily prayers punctually. His daily spiritual disciplines
have consistently included extensive recitations of Surah Ya-Sin, Surah
Al-Fath, Surah Ar-Rahman, Surah Al-Mulk, Surah Al-Muzzammil, and traditional
invocations such as Du‘ā-e-Jamīlah and Du‘ā-e-Nūr. Yet despite
ceaseless prayers, recitations, and litanies, our home is a house of unending
affliction: every member is struck by some chronic disease, everyone is
besieged by diverse crises, and kin and strangers alike look down upon us with
contempt.
Matrimonial proposals for my siblings are
non-existent; no one has ever stepped forward to ask for our hand. Outsiders
utter whatever insults they please, and we endure it in silence because of our
poverty and lack of homeownership. The entire household is crushed beneath
sorrow, having never tasted joy. Impart an efficacious practice to resolve our
crises so our home may become a sanctuary of happiness.
I sit yearning for a prospective proposal, yet my
destiny appears locked. A companion once extended an overture of friendship,
only to withdraw later claiming his parents wished him to marry elsewhere; this
shattered my remaining hope. During prayers, tears flow unceasingly; why does
God refuse my supplications? I dread that my mental faculties will collapse,
for my intellect has reached its breaking point. Deliver me from this darkness.
Answer:
My consistent observation is that many people approach
acts of worship with intense rigor—offering congregational prayers without ever
missing the initial takbir, reciting numerous Quranic sections during voluntary
Ishraq, Chasht, and Tahajjud prayers, observing Awwabin, maintaining exhaustive
rosaries, performing pilgrimages, and participating enthusiastically in outward
piety. Yet within the landscape of their hearts, a turbulent sea of doubt,
mistrust, and skepticism surges, while their conversation remains devoid of
everything save bitter anxiety and despair.
Remember this well: reciting excessive, unregulated
spiritual litanies produces harm rather than benefit. Instead of resolving
difficulties, it engenders new complications; rather than smoothing paths, it
multiplies hardships. Mental agitation, cognitive fragmentation, inner turmoil,
and an aggressive siege of intrusive thoughts strike simultaneously, plunging
the individual into suffocating skepticism. Such individuals end up losing
faith in the infinite mercy of Allah Almighty—Who loves His creation far more
tenderly than seventy mothers—and perish mired in despair, sustaining loss
across both faith and worldly life.
Our Beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
bequeathed a structured path of living founded upon balance and moderation;
where moderation is abandoned, life disintegrates. The practical embodiment of
this balanced path is the sublime character of the Holy Prophet, his noble
Companions, and the righteous saints. According to Quranic law, the true
hallmark of divine proximity is liberation from fear and sorrow, as affirmed:
"Behold! Verily upon the friends of Allah there
is no fear, nor do they grieve."
Instruct your father to cease all extraneous
recitations and unguided litanies immediately, and confine his worship strictly
to the five obligatory daily prayers. Outwardly, no other therapeutic solution
exists for your household’s distress. May Allah Almighty be your Helper and
Protector. Amen.
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