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Question:
Some
eight or ten months ago, I was entirely sound. Gradually, a bizarre
deterioration has overtaken me. Whenever I sit to recite the Holy Quran, I am
seized by the distressing conviction that I am mispronouncing the sacred words.
I repeat each single word countless times, relentlessly harassed by the
intrusive thought that my articulation is flawed. Previously, I could complete
an entire section (sipārah) in twenty minutes; now, I struggle to finish
even within an hour. Attending congregational recitations fills me with dread.
When I offer my daily prayers, the same affliction torments me: I feel I have
blundered, forgotten the prostration, or omitted the attestation (at-Taḥiyyāt), despite praying with intense vigilance.
Consequently, I repeatedly break and re-perform my units of prayer (rak‘ahs).
In the end, certitude eludes me, leaving me convinced my prayer was invalid. If
I pray aloud, my breath gasps; if I recite silently, I feel violently
suffocated.
Answer:
Confine
yourself strictly to offering only the five obligatory prayers; temporarily
suspend the recitation of the Holy Quran. Daily prior to the Fajr prayer, close
your eyes and visualize performing two units of prayer with the eye of
imagination—watching yourself execute the sacred postures in contemplation.
Thereafter, offer your actual Fajr prayer. Confine this visualization strictly
to the pre-dawn hour. Throughout the day—while standing, walking, or
resting—engage perpetually in reciting Yā Ḥayyu Yā Qayyūm (یَا حَیُّ یَا
قَیُّوْمُ). This
sacred invocation requires no prerequisites of ritual ablution or formal
purity. Within twenty days, your cognitive turmoil will dissolve.
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