Topics
Question:
Thoughts related to matters through which I may gain benefit in this world and
the Hereafter continuously arise in my mind.
A struggle for the
achievement of my goals always continues within my mind. My way of thinking is
different from that of other people. I dislike wealthy people.
I feel afraid while
talking to beautiful and intelligent people and experience a very strong sense
of inferiority, although my own appearance is also good. In my educational
life, I have always achieved success with good marks. In the ninth grade, I was
the “second topper,” and in college, I am among approximately the top ten
students.
However, I think that
I know nothing. I fear that if someone asks me something and I am unable to
answer, I will lose my respect, because I care greatly about my honour.
Sometimes I even go
to watch films secretly from everyone, because my mother always encouraged
people towards good deeds and had also established a gathering for recitation
of Naat. But now my heart is more inclined towards wrongdoing. During prayer
and in ordinary life, extremely inappropriate thoughts come into my mind all
the time.
Because of this
mental conflict, I continue walking alone for several hours. I want to do
something—a very great task—but I do not know what I actually want to do. I
have a great desire for martyrdom.
My heart is very
weak. Even a small matter, especially when my eyes happen to meet those of the
opposite gender, causes my heart to beat very rapidly. I have a great lack of
decision-making ability and always look at the negative side of things.
I wish to set out on
a journey around the world on foot. I dislike “love,” whatever form it may
take. I prefer solitude. I do not find concentration in prayer. I do not know
how to attain happiness or enjoy life. Nothing brings me joy. My heart has
become weary of the world.
When I see someone
travelling abroad, I become lost in thoughts about my own journey. I remain
worried about the future. During my school and college years, I lived a very
inactive life.
Disappointed, I turn
to you for guidance.
Answer:
Wake up at 2 o’clock at night. After performing ablution, sit facing the Qiblah
on the prayer mat. Recite Durood Sharif eleven times, and then recite Ya
Hayyu Ya Qayyum three hundred times.
After that, recite
Durood Sharif eleven times. Perform this practice three times, meaning that in
the complete practice, Durood Sharif will be recited sixty-six times and Ya
Hayyu Ya Qayyum three hundred times.
After completing this
practice, close your eyes and visualize that there is a luminous point on your
forehead, and rays of light are emerging from this luminous point.
The duration of the
Muraqba is ten minutes, and the period of this practice is sixty-six days.
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