Spiritual Healing

Pathological Avoidance and Domestic Alienation-The Restless Heart Away from Home

 Question:

For roughly six years, my elder brother has resided outside our household with an acquaintance. Our previous house was modest; he initially moved there under the pretext of preparing for his Bachelor of Arts examinations, yet he remained permanently. The friend's residence was near ours, allowing him to visit during daytime hours, though he invariably returned there to sleep. My father initially enforced strict discipline, prompting him to stay home for a night or two before fleeing again.

When our family purchased a spacious new home, our father sent my brother ahead so he might grow accustomed to the new environment; the moment the household moved in, he fled once more. Every measure has been exhausted, yet his heart finds no peace within our home. Six months ago, he gained employment; we hoped he would return, yet he merely handed his initial paycheck to our mother and has not contributed a single penny since. Our household lacks nothing materially. Our supreme longing is for him to return home, marry, and restore domestic joy. My mother’s health deteriorates under grief. He visits briefly like an aloof stranger and departs.

Answer:

The difficulty in this case is that the underlying reality compelling your brother to shun the parental hearth cannot be disclosed openly; laying bare the psychological or circumstantial facts would trigger severe shockwaves within the family.

Placing unreserved trust in Allah Almighty, recite Āyat al-Kursī up to the word al-‘Aẓīm 41 times following the completion of the Isha prayer, and supplicate earnestly. May Allah Almighty guide him onto the straight and righteous path.

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